As a single working mother, life can get overwhelming, fast. Everything falls on your shoulders from the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed at night: school drop offs and pick ups, morning routings, after school routines, breakfast, lunch, dinner, homework, bedtimes, working to make ends meet, etc. without a pair of hands by your side to share your load. Sometimes, when we’re in the thick of things, we just need a reminder about Allah’s infinite mercy in order to keep us going.
That’s what happened during Dar-us-Salaam’s “Heart and Hustle” halaqah, led by Sister Walida Mukhtar and run by our social service department, Ansaar-ul-Birr, on Sunday, September 21, 2025. The halaqah, designed specifically for single, widowed, and divorced mothers, offered a special sisterhood bonding session including interactive games and dinner. The purpose of the event was to uplift, validate, and inspire single, divorced, and widowed Muslim mothers, who often struggle in silence, feel invisible, and feel like they’re on the sidelines of society.
Single mothers from all walks of life were present that evening, some whose husbands had passed, some who had older children, some who had embraced Islam recently, some who didn’t have access to their children, but one thing connected them all: all of them had found themselves in an unexpected life situation.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll be divorced,” shared one sister. “Suddenly you find yourself alone in the middle of a mess, picking up the pieces of a life you no longer recognize, and having to take care of yourself and your children through it all.”
I personally hadn’t realized how many single mothers there were in our community, and I was surprised to see so many. Single parenting is a situation you don’t wish on anyone, but knowing others are in similar shoes brings about a sense of comfort and strength that you know you’re not alone in this trial and that there are those who understand you. We had a nice bonding session, sharing our stories and the trials that we’ve been through, talking about the trouble of divorce and the difficulties of life as single parents.
The event began with a beautiful reminder from Sister Rana Khan, director of the Qur’an Institute, on the importance of our relationship with the Qur’an, which is the only companion that will remain with us beyond the grave.
“The people and relationships you have here will end once you’re alone in the grave. Everyone will leave us. But if you were a companion to the Qur’an in this world, it will come in the form of a man in the grave and be your companion with you until the Day of Judgement.”
—Sister Rana Khan
Director of the Qur’an Institute.
Sister Rana also reminded us of how, just like we chose specific names for our children due to the significance of their meanings, Allah has given the Qur’an multiple names due to the significance those meanings hold, and she explained a few of them: The Qur’an was sent as a warning and a cure for all of mankind, and as a guide and a mercy for those who believe.
We played a gratitude game in which each person held onto a string of yarn, introduced themselves and said one thing they’re grateful for, then passed it to someone else across the circle we had made. The end result was a web of strings that everyone held onto, showing us that despite how alone or apart we feel, we’re all deeply connected to one another, especially with many of us echoing the same things we’re grateful for.
Sister Walida delivered a passionate presentation about the value and honor of single mothers in Islam. She reminded us that Maryam ‘Alayhassalaam was a single mother, and how some of the most influential figures in Islam, like Prophet ‘Issa Alayhissalaam and Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, were raised by single mothers. “Your worth is not tied to your marital status, but to your faith and character, “ she told us.
“Society may judge, but Allah elevates. Your honor is from Him.”
—Sister Walida Mukhtar
LMSW
“It takes strength to be a single mother, to pick yourself and your children up and start life over, whether it’s through being widowed or divorced,” continued Sr. Walida. “You are the silent warriors in society, but remember to take care of yourself. Single mothers often give to everyone else around them except themselves, and then they burn out which is a dangerous state to be in. Burnout leads to resentment towards your children and those around you, and it can even lead you to having ill feelings towards Allah, which is something you want to avoid.
“Fill your cup. Rest. Recharge. In the words of Mother Theresa, ‘If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.’ Loving your family also means taking care of yourself, so that you have enough energy to give to the little ones around you. Caring for yourself is an act of worship and strength. Your children will emulate what behavior you model in front of them, not what you tell them to do. If you are constantly burnt out, they’ll learn that behavior from you too. If you care for and honor yourself, they will learn balance and self-worth. By showing up for yourself, you’re able to show up more for others. We all need moments to rest, recharge, and refuel our bodies and souls.
“Another thing to remember is to not compare yourself to others. No trial is easier or harder than another, because Allah has curated your trials to what you specifically can handle. What you can handle may not be what another sister can, and vice versa. Allah has honored you with the test of single motherhood, but that does not mean you are alone. It is critical that you have a community of sisterhood and support network around you, because as you know the famous saying goes, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ As single mothers, that village becomes that much more needed to not only help raise your children, but to ensure that you are supported too. That’s what Dar-us-Salaam is here for: for you and your children, we are a community ready to help. We are all a village for each other.”
“This event was very much needed,” said one of the local single mothers who attended, grateful for the time spent together. Other attendees shared the same positive sentiments, with one adding, “Imam Safi called me personally and told me to attend this halaqah. I was nearly ready to give up on some things [in my life], but the advice tonight refreshed my spirit and reminded me to not give up, and has given me strength to keep going.”
Thank you to Ansaar-ul-Birr, Sr. Walida, Sr. Rana and all the Dar-us-Salaam staff and volunteers who worked hard to make this event happen. Keep an eye out for more halaqas coming soon! If you, or someone you know, is a single mother in need of assistance, please reach out to Ansaar-ul-Birr at ansaarulbirr@darussalaam.org .
